blizzardcake

It snowed all morning, leaving a good foot or so on the ground - which in a country as unused to snow as this translates to chaos - so instead of getting out of the house to wander aimlessly, I stayed in. Again. I had a short chat with my roommate Eerke, the only one with whom I really have any sort of relationship. I say hi to the others, and occasionally ask one how things are going, but only Eerke gives back the "I care!" vibe.

Which reminds me, I'm tired that every time I talk to Laura, she's all, "Oh! You've lost weight." It annoys me because no, I haven't, and even if I have, this is not something you point out to people, I think. Especially when, no, no they haven't lost weight. I mean, you're either saying it because they look horrifically emaciated and therefore must be sick, or because you think they look good, which means you thought they were fat before. In either case, shut the fuck up. She's way too direct and blunt, even for a Dutch, who are famed for their, "If I think it, I say it" mentality.

Also, she made me go over the whole, "So where are you from? But where were you born? So where are your parents from?" life history. I understand it's a potentially fascinating story to strangers, but for the love of fuck, don't you realize that I've had these questions before? And that I may not like answering them all the fucking time? Can't you just hold in your curiosity and not ask for my life history? It's like if I were a girl from Kansas and all my life people kept cracking the same old, "You're not in Kansas anymore" joke, only so much worse because I have to go over the same long schpeel and get the same questions. Look, I'm me, just leave it. It's enough to make a girl lie, say things like "I'm Canadian" (no more "Oh wow, your English is so good!" comments) or "I was raised in a remote cabin in southern Montana until the local wolves ate my entire family one winter, then I subsisted on berries and roadkill and it was very traumatic so please don't ask me any more questions."

On that note, I finally entered my weight recordings into excel and saw the failure in its full and utter glory. You can't even see the "Oh hai! I has been working out all day every day all October." ( You can has graph. )

I've failed at exercise in November and December, and failed even worse at feeding myself appropriately. Come on, Friday's lunch was potatoes, Saturday's was market-fried fish, today's was a shitload of chicken wings. I even forgot to buy breakfast stuff so today there wasn't even that. And all I have for dinner is cereal (again), which is running low.

So anyway, I stayed home and have been watching Grey's Anatomy all day, and crying over it (or over other things, I don't know anymore, just basically crying). I moved to the bed around 4 pm, played Betsy for an hour (I suck at chords and stumming and everything), eventually had a shower, and now here I am, hungry and blank. Maybe I should talk to someone about the whole, "Oh hai, PMS is a week-long depressive stint! La joie!" I have over-the-counter PMS Relief pills, but I think they're more for cramps than mood swings from hell.

Tomorrow I'm definitely getting out of the house to print insurance forms for the doctor's visit and the meds. I think I might slip in a visit to Den Haag just for the walkies, or at least buy a real lunch with all the green things included. Right now I'm going to eat breadsticks and cry over more Grey's Anatomy.


Links of the Day:

Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Doctor Who: ( Read more... )
Multifandom: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* George, Grey's Anatomy

Status Report: Gods bless antibiotics!

I woke up with my heart racing because my phone was ringing (shock, I know). It was mom, being all, "I has money for phone! But I can not spend monies, so bye!"

Then I made an appointment for the emergency weekend doctor, ( Read more... )

So off to my pharmacy which was...closed. Permanently. So off to a - ooh, I can't think of the word now, not-pharmacy, Jean Coutu without the prescription meds sort of place - to ask for directions, then a wait then pills. \o/

Then I bought terribly greasy food at the market (like, "Oh my gods, I feel so ill, let me never eat that again," greasy, no matter that it's fish), had lunch, and crawled into bed.

Cue Grey's Anatomy marathon. Whilst crying, because that show has yet made an episode that will not make me cry. Honestly, I'm just watching Season 2 for the Jeffrey Dean Morgan scenes, which will be awesome. And someday I'll need to re-watch PS: I Love You because holy gods, JDM and Irish accents!

At the moment I feel like I've chewed out the inner lining of my lower lip, have a headache (still) and am hungry yet nauseaus (stupid greasy food). Sushi! And Dollhouse! Then back to Grey's Anatomy, with knitting, and another pill just before sleep. Ah, medicine, how I love thee.


* Grey's Anatomy

I finished knitting the body part of the knitted toy elephant, did the bottom of its feet and one side of its belly part. I also rewatched almost all of the Black Books episodes.

Then I checked out the flist and came across Neil Gaiman embedding Tim Minchin's "White Wine In the Sun" and promptly started weeping and blubbering like I knew I would all day. And now I can't stop.

Christmas is going to suck royally because ( I am a pessimist )

What's the effect of prolonged loneliness? ( Read more... )

Quote of the Day: If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things by Jon McGregor**

He was talking quite slowly, breathlessly, he said and the worst thing was, it was strange, the worse thing, more than the fear of what might happen to me, what they might do or how I might get out of it, the worst thing was thinking that nobody would ever know, that I would just be missing, disappeared, vanished.

He looked at me and he said can you imagine that?

He said can you imagine anything more lonely?

Links of the Day:

vladlena205's Jeffrey Dean Morgan Icons
fancynewgin's Multifandom Icons
marylou_gr's Multifandom Icons


* Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"
** I once wrote something similar to this, but nowhere near as well. seschat liked it, bless her, and I guess that's how our friendship started, which has a sad sort of irony.

Okay, this has happened once in my life already, but:

Oh my gods, it's fucking Friday?!?
What the hell?! Has the week been that slow? I thought it was Saturday! But then why couldn't I make an appointment at the doctor's? Why?!? That's fucking it, tomorrow I'm calling the emergency number and getting an appointment at the post in the hospital. I am not waiting two more days with this shite.

Also, I'm bored out of my mind and knitting like a mofo and if I stop even for one second I'm going to cry my eyes out for no discernible reason. And there's no food in the house at all. Again. I have seen no one because I FAIL AT LIFE. Please shoot me.


* etcet, on this ljdq

So today I tried to call the doctor to make an appointment (instead of yesterday, which is when I should've) because they said they were open "every day", making no mention of weeks and weekends. The first time I called (after even getting dressed to go out, because I'd do anything to put off making a phonecall), there's a recording in Dutch giving various phone numbers and saying something about, "Out for lunch, back at 2." I called again at 2 and got a different recording saying how they were closed on weekends, and I could call this number if it were an emergency.

So now I don't know what to do, whether to hold out until Monday and pray they can see me before the end of Tuesday (and they can put me on whatever delectable antibiotics I need) or whether to go for the Emergency! side. ( Sickle fails to make good plans and instead goes quietly insane. )

Also, at the Biology Building, I've been twice introduced to new Spanish ladies either working or studying there. One was introduced to me by Moon, the receptionist with whom I speak Spanish because he's trying not to lose the language, because the lady was right there. It went well. The second was introduced to me by my previous supervisor simply because the lady was Spanish and therefore I had to meet her. It didn't go so well, for a number of reasons. ( A girl's gotta rant about something. )

By the way, both my supervisors will be out of the country during my graduation, and any teachers I may have had during this program wouldn't know who I am anyway (they taught me way back in 2007) or aren't Biology teachers, so I will be speechified by the professor who helped me with the computer programs while I was working on my last project. I feel like such a failure for not having anyone.

Furthermore, I had nothing for lunch but the last dregs of the potato sack, fried. It was either than, or pasta again. Or a slice of cheese. I fail at life.

On the plus side: snow.

Last Night's Dream - A: ( Read more... )
Last Night's Dream - B: ( Read more... )
Last Night's Dream - C: ( Read more... )

Translation: ( Read more... )


Links of the Day:

theuglyvovlo's Things I Learned From Holly - Puts all other writing to shame.
strangefrontier's Science Rant: STOP, COLLABORATE AND LISTEN!
qthewetsprocket's Texas police help kidnap a child - *grabs rusty spoon and charges* "Let me at 'em!"
lilith70's Cthulhu Christmas Ornament: Knitting Pattern
greygirlbeast embeds College Humour's "Dangerous Wands" - A Should-Totally-Be-A-Movie Harry Potter Trailer
InformationIsBeautiful.net's The Global Warming Skeptics vs. The Scientific Consensus ; Timelines: Time Travel in Popular Film and TV


* theuglyvolvo, here

Presents are wrapped, laundry is drying, bed is made and all is well.

Except for ( TMI )

Also, bored.


Video of the Day: Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show with guest Jeffrey Dean Morgan - It is impossible to be more charming, and I don't even know which one I'm talking about. I love 'em both to bits! ( Embedded )


Links of the Day:

Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Doctor Who: ( Read more... )
Random Fandom: ( Read more... )
Random General: ( Read more... )


* The Master, "Sound of Drums"

The papers for my graduation are all set and ready. I'm having second (and third) doubts about writing that Scientific Note on lion manes, but I ain't touching that until January.

I've got Christmas presents covered (burnt DVD's all around!) which I'm sure will not be received with any joy. Especially since Mom was all, "Don't worry about presents," when I asked what the fuck does Dad want?!? Said Dad has also failed for a few Christmasses running to deliver on the present-front, which is just yay. Tomorrow, wrapping paper! I also finally mailed the last cards, the last of which I wrote after staring at the blank paper thinking what the hell can I say?!? because by that time I was on my 11th Christmas card and omfg there's only so much you can say on a card-with-a-purpose. Ugh.

Am currently bored with no new television (damn you hiatuses! hiati?) and listening to The Mountain Goat's "Riches and Wonders" which sounds too much like Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" to be relaxing. I suspect, though, that this is a prime put-on-repeat-and-weep song.

Last Night's Dreams - Dream A: ( Read more... )

Last Night's Dreams - Dream B: ( Read more... )


Links of the Day:

Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Icons: ( Read more... )
Random Fandom: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* Spoony, ibid review

They come with the whole thing, like rats-"*


Today was pretty shitty in that the garage door seems to be locked from the inside or in some way that means that I cannot open the person-sized door and do not have the key for the lift-the-whole-thing-up-for-the-car door. Which meant that I couldn't get my bike. Cue a walk to two music stores (both of which were closed, the motherlovers) and then over 3 km in high heels (and almost instant blisters) to Biology building to see what papers I need to get together for my graduation (slated for Jan. 26, whoot!). Said papers basically include a transcript written out by me (because gods forbid the university can do such a thing). Then there was more walking to another building for an unofficial transcript because I have no idea what courses I've taken. With more blisters. Then there was the walking back. (While yes, I have walked around in tourist-mode with blisters on the soles of my feet the diameter of mandarins, I have not yet grown accustomed to the horrible burning sensation of layers of my skin rubbing off of each other and filling with interstitial fluid. I don't know, man, call me weak but, ow.)

Then home for lunch (fooooood!) and wrestling with a cardboard box bearing random papers where I could, with luck, find my examination cards because yes my backwater university sends out grades on bright green little cards and then there was the wrestling of the suitcase out from under my bed which while not as bad as this nightmare was flippin' hard because I can't lift a queen-or-whatever-size bed with one hand and pull out a person-sized suitcase with the other without straining something.

Then I wrote so many holiday cards I started writing stupid things in them or making gods-awful drawings and I am so, so sorry if you get one like that. And my supervisor replied that he wouldn't be in town for my graduation and therefore can't be at the ceremony and give a tiny little mini-speech (which I need someone to do, as per graduation requirements) so I'm going to ask my previous internship's supervisor which is okay but fills me with woe. Also spoke with Mom and a travel-tired brother, who's just arrived in Rome. Mom was all a-squee because she's got plates and a tablecloth and everything! (All of our furniture and stuff is in shipping-limbo until around next week. Yays.)

Tomorrow will involve photocopying and printing of important papers, purchasing of a present for my brother and head-wringing over what to get my dad, then some DVD-burning for other presents. I may work on the lion mane article but frankly I want to just let it die (at least until I get back in January) because I am so burnt out from article-writing. I might also struggle with Adobe and try to get it to convert a word document to a pdf one without fucking up the page size when I'm totally telling it what size to use.

Wow, I'm coming off way more aggravated than I am. I'm not. I'm just...gah.


Video of the Day: Pastor ranting against Pokemon - I don't know whether to laugh hysterically or flip him the biggest bird of all time. ( Embedded )


Links of the Day:
Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


Moving Pictures, TPratchett

Today: Nothing for breakfast and a quick grocery run for lunch and dinner. Wrote some "It's winter! With holidays you may or may not celebrate!" cards.

lienne and seschat, I'd love to send y'all cards but I have nowhere to send them, which sucketh. So if you want me to send you some lovin', just send me a personal message or email telling me where to send it.

Rewatched Doctor Who "Turn Left" (got teary eyed again during the "Off to the labour camp!" scene) and then...yeah, nothing much.

Yesterday: I went to Amsterdam in the afternoon in search for further Christmas presents inspiration (failure) and non-religious holiday cards (success). I failed at having any sort of lunch, and when I got home there was nothing for dinner but cheese and mandarins (translation: fail). Tried to set up a coffee-date with an acquaintance (French guy Azdine, friend of Gabrielle) but got cancelled on 'cause he didn't study on Saturday and so wanted to study Sunday. I watched the episodes of ER with Misha Collins (which, over three episodes, barely adds up to five minutes) and cried the whole time because damn you, show, leave my heartstrings alone.

Friday: Rebound Nano with new and improved back-cover (with squee). Read and commented on scientific note am co-author on regarding lions. Went to the Hague to wander the shops looking for inspiration on Christmas presents (failure), have dimsum (awesome) and watch Paranormal Activity (trailer).

( About the movie, with spoilers. )


Video of the Day: Barenaked Ladies, "Pollywog in a Bog" ( Embedded )


Links of the Day:
Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Doctor Who: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* "Cold, Kind and Lemon Eyes", Margot and the Nuclear So and So's

You know what I hate? Accidentally high-lighting the image of the back cover for Nano and discovering that it's 100000 times more awesome with the colours inverted than in its original form. This after all that PDF binding and uploading and htmling and printing and binding.

I'm trying to save my sanity and not slip into compulsions so I'm not redoing all that stuff. However, I am posting the new back-cover (it's blue and black! this works better with the front and spine! and is legible!). I'm also printing and rebinding it tomorrow. Squee.

...and now I'm having doubts. Whatever, keeping both versions. I always pick the thing I like least anyway, because I'm self-defeating that way. Yays.

( The new back cover )

In other news, my internet is being an utter bitch and it's frustrating.

In further and even more other news, I've cleaned out my work space, turned in my hard and CD copies of my thesis, gotten my grade on the official paper and called the lady who's supposed to help me get my whole Master's certificate thing rolling. She's in tomorrow, so we'll see what kind of progress happens on that front.

If you missed the previous post and want to read about movies based on real-life serial rapists and killers in Canada (gaaaaaah!), have at it. It stars Misha Collins, which is the only reason I watched the movie (entirely in 0.0 mode).

I never thought the movie would get under my skin in any way but I've been mentally ranting about it - or rather the crimes behind it - all day. ( And watch me go on and on about it again! )


Links of the Day:
Doctor Who: ( Read more... )
Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* "Ready for War", Throw the Fight

Medium: General
Subject: Original Fiction (NaNoWriMo Novel)
Title: Time for Something Biblical: A Post-Apocalyptic Fanmix
Notes: 20 songs (1.7 hours) in mp3 format with front and back cover art included.



( Full Art, Track List and Zip Link )

So here I am at home with 8 bound copies of my thesis (6 for the supervisor, 2 for me) when I realize that, since I've added an extra database (photographs), I'm going to need to change the database list. In each copy. By painfully rebinding. And editing and resaving and reconverting to PDF. Cue argh.

I've just watched Karla (2006) featuring Laura Prepon and Misha Collins as Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo of serial-rapist-and-killer notoriety in Canada (including "The Scarborough Rapist" crimes). Holy mother of gods, gah. ( Read more... )

Thankfully, I'll have the ER episodes with Misha soon, where he's totally not a psychopath and a much gentler lover (according to one delicious GIF at least). Yays.


Links of the Day:
Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* Anon. or uncredited

Before I go on about stuff, I can has thesis grade! ( Academic squee and news )

I've been listening to the Good Omens audiobook (which works much better in audio than I'd expected) and But Then By Homework Was Never Quite Like This podfic. The podfic is over six hours of dom/sub slash porn which gets a bit boring after a while, but is well-written. If it weren't for audiobooks, I'd hardly read (and I use the verb loosely) anything at all, what with the lack of time and books. Hmm, I could start on the second Sookie Stackhouse book tomorrow, that'd pass the time while I bind.

Speaking of binding, I'm totally printing and binding my pdf. Which I will finish today. Or tomorrow. Gods, it's just a tiny little coda I want to write...

Also, for the second morning in a row I've been nauseaus over breakfast. While nausea is sort of my weak spot when it comes to deep-seated nervousness (I threw up before my flight to university-for-the-first-time and was chronically blargh before the-move-to-the-Netherlands), I don't know where the stress may be coming from this time. I mean, nothing's freaking me out twenty-four-seven. Huh. Future for the freak-out?

ETA: The 2600 word extra Dean&Icarus scene is written! There is schmoop! Hidden below many layers of angst and grief and hard-knock-lifery. Which is to say, there's is almost-hugging! And fingers in hair! And I just remembered I forgot to put in one detail about Icarus telling or saying he's going to tell Dean about Chip's angel-vision but it's okay, we don't need that bit anyway and it would break the flow and anyway they can talk about it anytime and oh my god it's over! PDF pimpage tomorrow!


Links of the Day: ( Read more... )


* Jonathan Coulton, "Still Alive"

Yesterday I talked to my dearest, darlingist muffin Kit-kat for like two solid hours and it was \o/ with an extra dash of squee. We talked mainly about life and the future and social things and it's kinda freakish how alike we are, sharing the same worries and fears and the like. Love ya, muffin ♥

The presentation didn't go terribly bad, I mean, I talked too fast and skipped a lot of things I'd meant to say and failed at explaining a few things, but in general it went alright. So \o/ on that then.

After the presentation, I hung out with Willy! Which is definitely \o/ We had lunch and talked about school and boys and life and The Future and squeefull things like her beau coming to visit all the way from Kenya and had a grand ol' time.

I'd meant to finish writing the Dean&Icarus coda tonight, but I had Glühwein and watched Dylan Moran's show instead. Ah, the joy! I adore Dylan and his unruly hair :D And now I'm off to read tracy_loo_who's And I Will Walk on Water (Dean/Castiel, Realistic Hurt/Comfort with Plot), because I am so addicted to it.

So life's pretty alright, even though point-blank questions of "Are you happy" get a negative response and my knees hurt for no flippin' reason (ow). I've got to get my final thesis PDF approved tomorrow, then it's all printing and binding and database fixing. I also think I might have a meeting with my supervisor (although we never set a time) and I want to snag some "this is where you may find gainful employment" advice (i.e. the "what the hell am I good for?" question).


Video of the Day: Dylan Moran's show What It Is, live (part 1) ( Embedded )


Links of the Day:
Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Doctor Who: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* Dylan Moran, What It Is